Missing Person Alert

My child had gone missing but I am not sure for how long. She might have been gone for a long time without me realizing it. It just hit me one day when I suddenly felt like I had done something wrong but not sure what...have you experienced that kind of feeling? It's a bit scary.

So I started to recall the past weeks of my life and I realized that each day was not that different from others, and at some point I realized with a jolt that my child, Passion, had gone missing. She was nowhere to be seen.

I frantically began searching for her. I contacted the local authorities. They asked gruelling questions like when was the last time I saw her? Why didn't I put any attention on her? How on earth a mother like me could completely forgot I had a child?

They upset me, the authorities. I despise people who act like they know better. Do they know how hard it is to notice anything when you walk down the very same road every day for the past thirty odd years of your life? Sure there are new buildings emerged here and there and the air is getting stickier, but the overall feelings you get when you take each single step on that very same road, they never change. It's the same dull, nagging feeling telling you that you are simply trapped.

In the early days, I remember Passion used to bounce up and down the street with me. Her presence gave me sparks in the inside. Those were the days when I felt the world was my oyster. But do that repeatedly. Do the same thing over and over again and it gets to you. Soon, the only thing you notice is your own weariness. That must have been the time when Passion slipped out, silently, while I was wallowing in my own bitterness.

And those pompous authorities, they looked at me disdainfully. Passion is a living being, they said. You can't just ignore her and expect her to stick around. She needed encouragements, attentions, she needed your focus. You need to nurture her. Ignite her.

I didn't argue. I knew it was a lost cause. Just like every other mishap in my life, I had only myself to blame. Nobody thought bad of Passion because she deserted me. They all blamed me for being so inattentive and unfocus that I drove her away.

I miss Passion I really do. Now that I've realized she's no longer by my side I think about how everything would be different with her around. The same street that I have to walk up and down everyday, it doesn't change, but with Passion I could walk on it without the heavy pressure on my chest like I have now. The walk would be a much, much lighter walk.

Passion if you can hear me, do come home to me.

I'd cook you a nice dinner and we could sit on the porch with mugs of hot cocoas and the world would taste as sweet again.