Monday, May 11, 2009

the wheel

Growing up, Hamster was told to never jump out from the wheel before he accumulates enough merits. His mother had made a list of merits that he should acquire before he could be considered mature enough and is allowed to venture off his designated wheel. Hamster accepted this as his fate, he was not aware that options were available for him.

Day by day Hamster was wheeling around, dutifully ticking off what’s on his list. He did everything as told, never questioned, never challenged and was relatively at ease with himself.

His mother said,” The key to happiness is to resign to your path and do your tasks. It may feel tedious but it is necessary. Only after you have accumulated everything, you will find true happiness as your reward.”

So Hamster wheeled around. At times boredom did come upon him and doubt did creep in but he had a lot of faith on his mother’s words therefore he shut his mind from too much thinking and wheeled.

After several years into his adulthood, Hamster had ticked off three quarter of his list. His mother nodded approvingly at his progress. Soon, Hamster would be granted his life. He could jump out off the wheel and start to live. Hamster, however, had mixed feelings about the future off the wheel. Years of mechanically ticking off a list had created some kind of a comfort zone for him. He was excited but scared, mostly scared.

And one day he saw Female, a natural beauty who was the exact opposite of him. She was careless and carefree and she did not give a damn about the list.

“I threw mine away years ago,” said Female, ”Why would anyone bother about a list when nobody knows for sure what would happen the next second?”

“Yes but by staying in the wheel to fulfill the list gives your life purpose,”

“I thought the purpose is to be happy, how could anyone be happy just walking in circles day after day?”

“It’s only temporary. I’m accumulating merits. Then I’ll be free to get off the wheel and be happy. That would be my reward.”

“Why not just jump off it and be free and happy now?”

“How could I be happy before I accumulate all the merits? What am I going to live on?”

“You don’t live by merits, you live by faith.”

“That’s very irresponsible!”

Female smiled and walked away. Hamster felt a very strong urge to follow her then and there but he fought it. Her lifestyle was way too scary for him to follow. Hamster had a very timid personality and he cringed at the very thought of not doing what he was supposed to do.

But after she left, Hamster suddenly felt empty. He had never felt like this before. He began to question his life and lost his sense of purpose. He still wheeled dutifully, but his motive in doing so was becoming more and more muddied with confusion.

Hamster mustered all his strength to refocus on his task at hand. But the lure of young love was too great for him to ignore. Female was all he could think about. He longed to abandon the wheel and chase Female and whisk her away and live happily ever after without a care in the world. But what about the merits? Surely the consequences would catch up with him sooner or later and Hamster was not one who could face consequences.

So Hamster persevered. He wheeled on with a heavy heart and an uncertain mind. His thoughts wandered. He lost his focus and one day he slipped and fell hard from the wheel. He snapped his neck from the fall and died instantly. His mother cried for seven days. On the eighth day she buried him and wrote on his tombstone: a dutiful son, died on his way to build a happy life.