accountability test

You encounter problems with your satellite TV. You call the 24 hour hotline service and you are greeted with the ever so friendly voice mail saying thank you for calling, your call is important to us however our operators are busy taking other calls so will you please be kind to hold the line. You wait and wait and wait. When the almighty operator finally does take your call, he or she seems to be such in a hurry to take other calls that he or she only informs you curtly that a technician will come to your house without listening to the problem. And the technician never comes. You call again the next day and you experience the same scenario and the technician never comes. You call again and the operator says the problem lies in the technical department and that he or she in the customer service department is not accountable.

You fly a reputable national airline. You specifically choose the airline eventhough the price is slightly higher because you want a hassle-free trip. You are not allowed to bring liquid to the cabin so you slap the fragile sticker on you box which contains four bottles of rare, pure honey from the forest and specifically asks for the package to be handled with care. You arrive in your destination to find that one bottle is smashed. You file a complaint. The officer beats around the bush and says that it probably happens during landing and that if that is the case then the ground staff is not accountable.

Then who's accountable?

Apparently people you have no access to.

You bite your tongue and you sit on the porch, telling yourself that this is just the thrills of living in the country where things don’t work. Then you hear someone speaking loudly from a loudspeaker, apparently some religious leader in a mission to inspire. He says that there is only one true god to worship and that when you stand up when you hear the national anthem playing or when the president enters the room, then you are performing an act of worshiping human and human creation and that is a sin that will see you burn in hell in all eternity.

Stupid people multiplication alert!

Who the fuck is accountable for that?

Apparently people you have no access to.

sapardi, beautifully

aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada

the sleeping boy

Once upon a time there was a little boy who was forever asleep. Since the day he was born he never woke up. His eyes were forever closed and his breathing was forever sound because never did he enter the state of wakefulness. Only once during the course of his life did he give a little stir. His mother waited in anticipation, but the boy merely stirred and he continued sleeping.

He was forever asleep because he was conceived during the war and the explosive sound from the outside world was thoroughly frightening for him that he opted to surrender to the unconsciousness.

Over the years it was discovered that the sleeping boy had a power. That whoever came in contact with his bodily fluid would fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. His mother who, although loved him dearly, at times could not hide her disappointment of having such a disabled son, decided that it was not wrong at all to make a profit out of his son’s special power. So his mother bottled his bodily fluid and sold it to those with sleeping disorder. One drop of this sleeping substance guaranteed eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Through grapevines, a solid client base was formed. Intellectuals, law enforcements, tradesmen were her regular buyers. The boy’s mother became a wealthy woman.

One day a worn down woman came to see the boy’s mother. She was the wife of a very honorable person who worked for the government. She came weeping, for her dear husband had been philandering. The husband would tiptoe out of their bedroom every night to sleep with young girls, sometimes two at a time. She could not do anything to stop it for fear that she would be thrown out on the streets because he was the sole breadwinner. Her only hope was the sleeping substance that would guarantee her husband sleeping soundly at night.

The trick worked for some times. Until one day the husband found out that he had been sedated. He was so angry. He charged into the sleeping boy’s room, knocking the mother out of the way, carried the sleeping boy on his shoulder and threw him into the open fire. The boy burned to death.

His mother was utterly devastated that she lost her source of income. Certain that she could give birth to another sleeping boy, she slept with the first sailor she crossed path with. And nine months later, she gave birth to a boy who never slept.

the divine secrets of the lychee martini sisterhood

Somewhere between endless chats and tarot card readings, I looked around and found beautiful eyes looking back at me with camaraderie so strong it sent shivers down my spine. Was it fate that we were all together at those moments to share the glitz of the city whenever the sun was down?

We each held our martini glasses, bleary-eyed from too much toxic and laughter, as the clock turned and before we realized it was past midnight it was time to kiss our drunken goodbyes. And we parted, till the following night, plans hatched in internet chats and phone messages and in no time we strolled the city, beer and karaoke night screaming out songs of heartbreak and rolling on the floor laughing, or we would sit pretty with a glass of wine, stuffing nachos down keeping the conversation up, or it could be dancing up the stage barefoot with reckless abandon and when the lights were finally on we disposed ourselves into the nearby 24 hour chicken porridge stall.

Somewhere between flirting with the bartender and being stood up on dates, we found each other. And I hope it would glue us together, no matter where we part.

(for my gals)

Loving You

there will come a day
when i will stop questioning
and serenely accept
that my imperfection is perfectly your plan
that my misfortunes are designed just so
as preludes to a grand achievement somewhere somehow
that your non answer is because you want me to learn about discovery
that the evil i see is part of a grander scheme
that a baby must die of hunger
that people crush each other for what they call devotion
poverty, corruption, power play, deceit, dark negative forces
must be there as hidden blessings to someone somewhere somehow
and that i should stop worrying
about what i do, where i go, what i achieve
and that i should only love and love and love despite everything
because when i love passionately i will only have time for love
and i will spend my energy only to love
and i will have nothing left to hate not even a nanosecond
there will come a day
when i no longer feel dirtier than sin
and that i will love you so severely
with the kind of love like that of mary magadalene's

cuelho moment

the best example to follow is that of a child,
for a child is happy for no reason,
for a child is always busy
for a child shows persistence and determination
in demanding the thing it wants
for a child is very quick to stop crying